Note to Married Couples

Today has been a very productive day. I seem to have fit everything into my schedule: workout, strategy and consumer behavior paper, a nice lunch, and... even an earthquake. As the evening drew near and I was wondering what my next entry was going to be on, I realized that I have talked about pretty much everything except for the challenges that married/committed couples could face while in the program.

When I started this blog I was the only one in the program, while my husband took on the role of the supportive partner. In the meantime, I am getting ready to graduate, while my husband is getting ready to finish his first year in the MBA program. It started as “hmm, what you’re studying is really interesting” and ended with “I think I’m going to apply for this program.” And so he did!

We are lucky because both my husband and I love to get involved in a lot of projects. Ever since we have known each other, we have always worked on projects outside of school or work. So we are used to being very busy. However, I understand that this is not the case for everyone. And while my husband and I talked about our expectations and how we were going to handle the challenging workload of the program, I realized the other day that for various reasons not everyone does so.

Currently there are about 20 married students in the program. This is the official statistic; however, it does not account for students in a committed relationship who still have to face similar challenges to those of a married couple. The main challenge is obviously time, or lack thereof. And then it is about managing expectations. In a recent conversation with a married student, I realized that there is no orientation on how to balance school and your relationship. So I will use this medium to share with you what worked for my husband and I:

* Look at the program curriculum together and discuss time commitment
* Visit the school with your spouse
* Prior to applying for the program, talk to a married student to find out what the experience is like
* Set time aside just for you and your spouse. This is easier said than done, but if there are no kids involved yet, it is even more doable. As unnatural as it might seem to sit down with both calendars and figure out a time, it has to happen. Put it on the calendar as your “non-negotiable” time. In our case, I took Saturday off and no matter how busy my schedule was, we always knew that Saturday was our time. It helps the relationship as well as recharges the batteries for a new week of school.
* Bring your spouse to the social events. It helps your spouse make friends and relate to the MBA life.
* Once in the program, connect with other married students and build a support group.

Good luck! Getting a master’s degree while married or in a committed relationship is challenging enough but not impossible. And it can be fun!